I did not have that new gadget that everyone is talking about? Or that car that I have been dreaming about for years? Or that new tool that I can use to earn extra income? Would I really be?
When posed with this question, I stopped for a while a wrote my answer in my journal. I wrote there that if it comes to that point I may probably be grumbling for a while but in a short time, the object of my discontentment and the reason for not having it would have passed already.
Visiting the daily devotional section at cbn.com tonight, the verse referred to by the author was:
1 Timothy 6:6, “Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth.”
Admittedly, I have bouts of discontentment. Especially when I am running late and blame it on not having a car. Or think that I am missing out on something because I did not have this gadget. Or the thought that I could have done a better job if I had this tool.
Then I get to verse 8 of the same chapter which said:
“So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content.”
I know I have enough food and clothing right now–sometimes more. But why do I still sometimes feel that way, discontented? I can argue that it is the fallen man in me. Its probably right. But I think its more than that. I’ve been reading WM. Paul Young’s The Shack, and I must say that there are radical words in there. And based on my reading of the book I may say that I feel this way because I may not really be trusting God.
For some of you who know me, you may have heard me speak about trusting God. Looking back at those times. I start to wonder if at the moment I said that, did I really meant it? Trusting God…Then why do I sometimes, probably often, feel that I do not have enough. I eat three or four times a day, sometimes for free, I should be content right? But my own thoughts betray me.
Trusting God is the stuff of a relationship. When David wrote Psalm 23, the first verse showed how content he was. Oh if I could only be David. But I am me and I’m stuck with myself. God may be showing me that my relationship with Him is not that “deep” yet. I need to put my trust in Him more. Letting go rather tightening my grip and holding on to it like it is more valuable than God Himself.
It is a great privilege to be loved by the Creator of the universe, and unloving for not being content. This is my prayer tonight…that I mat dwell in the presence of the Lord and truly and totally let go and be content, safe in His arms.